Love Over Fear

This last week I found myself in a crowded board room in Tehachapi. Parents had gathered, upset about a transgender child at the middle school. Some of them spoke about their “Christian values.”

I sat there thinking about how often faith gets twisted into a weapon—how quickly the language of God’s love can be used to justify exclusion and fear. As a pastor, I could not stay silent.

So I stood, and this is what I said:

“Good Afternoon. My name is Rev. Dawn Wilder. I am the pastor of Emmanuel Lutheran Church in Bakersfield, a resident of Tehachapi, and a parent of children in TUSD. I believe in the separation of Church and state, but when community members are using their so-called Christian values to cause harm, I feel it is my responsibility to speak out… To them I say…. Jesus never told us to fear children. Jesus never told us to cast out those who don’t fit our expectations. He said, ‘Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me.’ Right now, the child being talked about in this room is the least of these—vulnerable, singled out, and made into a problem. And when we treat that child with suspicion or hostility, we are treating Christ himself that way.

To our Board… You may hear that allowing this child to use the girls’ locker room puts others at risk. But discomfort is not danger. There is no evidence that inclusion increases harm. The real danger comes when adults teach children to see one of their classmates as a threat. That is how bullying grows, and that is how violence escalates.  As a parent…. I have lived through what happens when a student becomes the target…..  and it nearly cost me my own child. I will not stay silent while it happens again.

You may hear that affirming this child is confusing, or even abusive. But our children are not confused by kindness—they are confused when they watch adults choose fear instead of compassion. And every major medical and mental health association affirms… that supporting trans youth saves lives. What harms them is rejection and isolation.

Here in Tehachapi, we know the cost of ignoring this truth. We lost Seth Walsh to suicide after relentless bullying. Seth’s Law exists to protect students targeted for their identity. That is not merely compassion, it is the law. And for Christians, it is also the gospel mandate: to protect, to include, to love.

Our children are watching us. Let them see a community that chooses love over fear, welcome over exclusion, and truth over rumor. Let them see a society that protects the vulnerable and honors the humanity we share by honoring every child. That is the measure of who we are—not how loudly we speak in fear, but how faithfully we act in love.”

When I finished, I wasn’t sure how it would be received. These meetings can feel hostile, and I’ve learned not to expect applause for standing on the side of the vulnerable. But afterward, several people from the LGBTQ+ community reached out to thank me.

That meant more than anything else. Because at the end of the day, this wasn’t about winning an argument. It was about one child sitting in that school, hearing adults talk about them as though they were a threat. It was about saying out loud that they are not alone—that someone will stand up for them.

I am grateful for all the ways this community continues to remind me of that calling.